second chapter... I hope you enjoy it!
and thats all
bye bye
Chapter Two
The past is getting closer with big steps...
We arrived at the house of Sungmin, Taeyeon still couldn't believe how bold the girl in the dress had been, especially for saying that she hope to be more "pleasant" the next meeting, Taeng was furious - "You know that she said it in a double way? right??... was an indirect ... she was eating you with her eyes!! ..." - I looked and only could smile, her small fits of rage, I always have loved it.
We were on the doorstep and rang the bell, and S ungmin appeared front of my eyes, my best friend, with whom I always had skipped classes, had walked along the beach, we always got in trouble.
I looked at him, I felt a thrill that I had not felt since I left, he looked at me - "Tete what took you so ..." - his sentence was incomplete when he looked at me, his eyes met mine, filled with tears and we are now in an embrace, transmitting love, brotherhood, many feelings ...
I didn't want to release him, I wanted to convey to him all the sadness and the need, the anxiety I had when I was not here. We parted slowly, he had his cheeks soaked with tears, sobbing a little for the excitement, I placed my hand on his head, the guy in front of me was as tall as me, I stroked his hair - "Hello Sun-oppa" - was all that came out of my mouth, he looked at me, stretched out his hand to touch my face - "You're ... you're here ... Sunny ..." - I hugged him again, he pressed me hard against his body, Tae looked at us with a smile, like seeing an old picture, Sungmin was still with tears in her eyes - "when you came back? .. . why you didn't call? ... why you never called us ...? I thought you'd died or something ... " - I watched him with amusement, he always exaggerated - " is good to see you again " - both smiled, walked into his house.
Being inside, I saw several friends. All laughed recalling the old times, adventures and antics of children, the evening passed too quickly, and it was time for questions, I knew this moment would come, so I tried to breathe deeply to calm.
Taeyeon looked at me tenderly, I always knew that her maternal side was powerful, that caused me an incredible peace, I relaxed while the stare of my best friend was trying to drill my eyes, to see my soul through the windows of my face, I stared back for a moment and then he asked - "why you didn't tell us ... I had my heart compressed, thinking the worst, I thought we'd lost you" - New tears formed in his eyes, my other friends are Sooyoung, Hyoyeon, Hyomin, Nicole, also Nickhun, Taecyeon and Donghae looked at me waiting for an answer, we are like siblings, went to the same school, we shared many things, but they never understand me completely. I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed to find the words to describe what had triggered my escape, Tete also didn't know this when we were together before, I hadn't told her this part of the story.
F LASHBACK
[u]Monday's morning
I open my eyes to a new day, I think about all the good things that can happen today, the biology class that I have which I hate so much, but I'll be with others, with them any martyrdom turns into something survivable, I thought, my mind quickly traveled to Taeng's image, her smile, her lips, and before I knew I was already blushing, I jumped up to not to think or rather to not have bad thoughts. I did my normal routine, I went to the bathroom, and from the bottom of the house I could hear a sound, but I couldn't recognize what it was, could have been Kuhn, fixing or rather decomposing something, I didn't give it more importance, I left the bathroom and I returned to my room and got dressed.
I went downstairs and now the noise was very clear, my heart stopped when I saw the image of my mother on the floor, almost unconscious, Kuhn was in front of her body with a bottle in his hand, he looked at her with a frown while mumbling incoherent words, I went running and I bent down to get next to my mother, I examined her, she is still breathing albeit unstable, with difficulty, I turned to look at the beast, the smell of alcohol filled the room, I couldn't contain my anger anymore- "What the hell did you do bastard!?!" - the man just looked at me, smiled from the side, that made hatred of years to flow inside of me, I wanted to take his head and crash it into the wall, smashing that face that doesn’t stop smiling - , "she deserved it, how many times I have to repeat to you two to do what I say ... but she insists on taking the opposite " - I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and couldn't hold back any longer, dragging out years of anger, hatred because of abuse, I got up and gathered all my strength to connect my fist in his jaw, the blow caused him to stagger in his state of intoxication, he hardly could react , I go back and hit him again, now in the stomach, leaving him out of air and fell on one knee, taking advantage of it, I kicked him in the face, which knocked him down, he was half unconscious. I took this moment to take my mother, put her arm around my neck and held her by the waist, I took her to the door, I have to take her to the hospital.
I took my bag and went out with my mother to the street, I have to get some way to go to the hospital, then I saw my neighbor, Mr. Shung, he saw me leave my house with my semi-unconscious mother and he approached us almost running, he looked scared - "He got drunk again?" - I just nodded, I felt that if a word came out of my mouth the tears begin to fall, Mr. Shung watched me with a mixture of pity and understanding - "if you want I can take you two to the hospital ... I do not think you can walk with her" - I nodded again, he helped me introduce my mother into his car.
I sat beside her holding her lifeless body when the car started, I forgot the happy thoughts with my friends, all in what I could think of was my mother, if I lost her, I would have nothing or no one, the fear of losing my mother for whom I would give my life terrified me, I don't want to think anything, so I closed my eyes and try to calm down.
After spending all day in the hospital, I went out of there, walking slowly, I accompanied my mother most of the time, the other part I was trying to explain to the police what had happened, after explaining what I had seen, the police asked me if I had somewhere to stay, it was logical that when Kuhn wakes up, he will try to kill me, and although he wasn't at home, he had access to it whenever he want and that put me in danger, I can’t return there I have to wait for a couple of days until the police could have Khun under custody.
When they said I could go to a shelter, I immediately told them that I have a place where I can stay, and when the visiting hours ended, I left the hospital aimlessly, with nothing in mind, letting my feet walk, when I finally lift my head I found me in front of the house of the only person who made me feel totally safe.
I approached the door and knocked, I knew that Tae's parents wouldn't be in home yet, they always worked late, or they could be in some unexpected business trip, so she and I understood each other so well, our parents were absent or didn't care.
Only a moment passed and the door opened revealing a worried Taeyeon, wearing her yellow pajamas with teddy bears eating ice cream, before I could say anything, she threw her arms and hugged me, and that was all I needed for my soul to drain all the sadness, the tears began to fall uncontrollably, with no sound, just running down my cheeks.
She made me enter the house and while the tears kept falling she stroked my cheek with her hand, I was staring into space, she was the one who took me out of trance - "What happened today? ... I was worried, 'cause I couldn't find you in your house ... didn't know whether to go to fetch you or not ..." - I shook my head, I knew she was worried, but I don't know where to start, I wanted to take out all the pain inside of me, but I don't want to give that burden to her.
I started taking a deep breath - "My mother is in the hospital ... when I woke up today ... that bastard Kuhn nearly killed her, Tete ... I ..." - without knowing new tears started to fall, I couldn't control it, Taeng put her arms around me and relaxed me, she was the only one who knew my vulnerable side, with her I felt no need to be always a strong person.
We remain well for several minutes until she asked me - "want to spend the night here? ... My parents went on a business trip and. .. I'm afraid that psycho could try something against you. .. " - I looked at her and nodded, I really hadn't nowhere to stay over and this is the only place I wanted to be, in the arms of this girl, my little Kim Taeyeon, the person I love.
It was past midnight and we were still awake watching the ceiling both lying in bed, she was very close to me, her proximity always made me a little nervous, I was breathing softly, my head was full of thoughts, my mother, that bastard, the hospital, Taeng and the other guys, until I felt her hand caressing my cheek, I looked at her and I realiz ed that she was drying my tears, who had begun to slide down my face, I turn and our faces were a few inches, she began to find my mouth with her lips, I get a little closer until her sweet lips touched mine, her kisses were sweet, tender, wanted take away my pain, but as the minutes passed the kisses became intense, the temperature rose, and my hands touched her body so desperately, wanting to have more contact, her hands tangled in my hair, I never thought that someone could comfort with just physical contact, and never imagine that the pain made you feel such a need.
After a few hours our bodies were entangled, were covered with sweat, breathing heavily, embracing and staring at us, I gently touch her face, she smiled - "You know... I could stay like this forever, lost in your eyes, in this sea of chocolate so intense as the cocoa... I'll always be with you and only you. " - I looked at her and kissed her forehead, then her nose and finally her lips and the words left my mouth, those three words that hadn't been able to say before - "I love you" -, I didn't think it I just said it, feeling more than ever, she looked at me and smiled, hugged me and moved closer to me, our lips met again.
The next day we went to school, we were holding hands and when we got close to school we have to let our hands off, no one have to know about us or else, everything would fall apart and I was not willing to lose her.
On the way we find Sungmin, Sooyoung and the others and began to wonder if I was OK, Sungmin didn't need much explanation, we know each other very well that with just a glance, we can communicate to each other, so there was not necessary an explanation to him.
All together went to our destination, I really liked school, would rather be there than listening to the screams in my house. The day passed smoothly, and I told Tae that I wanted to go to look for clothes to my house and then go to see my mother, she nodded and before we parted, she said - "come home and I will have dinner ready " - I smiled and walked happily to my destination.
I got home, looked for some clothes, I was still happy and my mind was filled with happy thoughts, I walked back and forth looking for clothes for my mother and for myself, I didn't even heard the front door opening nor the stairs creaking, I just woke up to reality when I saw Kuhn in the doorway, again with a bottle in his hand, and with that smug look that makes me explode, the last thing I remember was his cold voice saying - "Now ... I will teach you manners ... you will regret until the end of your days for having touched me" - and I have only some pictures of that time, pain, severe pain in my face, my ribs, my head, I had little memories of that monster hitting me with all his might and me trying to cover me, to respond, but he was much bigger.
I got up fast as I could, I saw a lot of blood on the floor, I assumed it was mine because of the dizziness when I got up and makes me fall back to the floor, I got up, I had to get out of there, I walked to the door, took the clothes I had taken before, I don't know how long I was unconscious, I only know that it was already night, I went downstairs, also thinking hurts like hell, I carefully watched and walked as fast as I could just to get out of the house, as fast as my body allowed me, I reached the door and terror gripped me to hear his voice - "Where do you think you are going??, this is just beginning ... come here damn it!" - I turned on my heel and looked at him, he had a sort of stick, I realized that was one of the legs of the table in the garden. I looked at him for a moment and thought that this might be the last thing I'll say and it will unleash all his fury - "You're a bastard, you don't know how to treat a woman, even you don't have cells of man either; so if you think that having something between your legs have all the right to strike anyone, you're crazy!! I'll chase you until the end of my days " – I remember him smiling and approaching half running, I remember my hands trying to stop the impact of wood that goes to my head, but the force made me step back, and be against the door, I felt a twinge in my right side ribs, I had to bend to retrieve some air, and I felt another blow but this time on the side of the head, I staggered, and with all my heart I set on the target, I don't know what happened, just know it was like a power was walking through all my body and I began beating him with all my strength, adrenaline filled me, and although I couldn't see because my eyes were covered with blood, I kept hitting, and I only stopped when there was no resistance anymore.
My whole body was shaking and to see the almost lifeless figure made everything worse, I took the bag of clothes and ran out of the house, I directed my steps Taeng's house, and when she saw me coming in that state, she tried to calm me down but it was impossible.
The next day was no better, the police had gone to school, they asked for me, but I had not attended it, the scene of Tae seeing me defeated and almost on the verge of collapse beyond me, I couldn't go to school, thinking that I might have killed that bastard had me torn between two emotions, I wanted to kill him for what he had done to my mother, for years of abuse, but the fact of thinking that I could end up like him, that I can be very similar to him, annihilated me.
Those days were the beginning of my nightmare, I went to the hospital to see my mother and she was awake when I came she had that look of disapproval, I knew something was wrong, I approached her, and before I could even ask her how she was feeling, instead she screamed at me - "What have you done!? ... accusing Kuhn of abuse and then trying to kill him?! ... want him to leave me? ... I haven't taught you that and... you've ruined everything ... how dare you! " - I couldn't take it anymore, I took all my feelings out - " What are you talking about mom??, that bastard nearly kills you!! ... all these years of his abuse... but perhaps you have lost the reason!?! Or what?!?! , ….. look at me mother... he ALMOST KILLED me ... it doesn't make you to worry about me even a little?!? ... HELL!! look at me mom, I'm talking to you!!! " - she was staring at the floor, she raised her eyes that were very similar to mine, the only thing different was the color, my father has brown eyes and my mother's has a honey color, but we had the same shape.
She then glared at me with hate - "your father doesn't care about us, then what makes you think you matter to me..??... I just know that if Khun leaves me or goes to prison, it's ALL your fault ... I want you to leave me alone " - and with that, my entire world ended up of breaking, I left the room, slowly and with eyes glued to the floor, tears come from my eyes.
I was lost until the sound of my cell phone brought me back to reality, I looked at the screen and read the only name that could make me feel alive again - "Ta ... Tae .. . I ... " - I couldn't gesticulate a word, she was silent, trying to guess what the problem was, she just said - " calm down, everything will be ok .. we have to meet somewhere else. .. it's dangerous to you to come here, the police are looking for you for almost kill your mother's boyfriend ... I ... are you ok? ... I was so afraid ... I do not want to lose you ... " - I smiled a little, at least someone cared about me, I said - "I'll see you in the park that is near your house, see you there ... I love you ..." - was the second time that I told her that phrase of three words and the last, I couldn't go to meet her, the police arrived at the hospital and interrogated me, I was more than 4 hours explaining what had happened, they could see the injuries I had, although they were smaller but didn't understand how my injuries could have healed so fast, things were not looking good.
I had to find a way to get out of there, the police showed me photos of Kuhn and I couldn't believe it, I don't remember had beaten him so hard, I have to escape, there was no other way.
I took the few things I had, my savings and bought a ticket to America, and that's how I ran away from that black hole of my horrible life, leaving behind the only person that mattered...
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